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Soddin’ hell, nearly forgot – *The Great Beauty* has that scene, yeah? Nuns and decadence, Rome rottin’ in style. Erotic-massage is like that – bit naughty, bit posh, bit tragic. “To be able to look at life,” Jep muses, “with a smile.” That’s the ticket! You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, some stranger’s hands all over ya, and you’re smirkin’ like a berk cos it’s *bloomin’ brilliant*. Ain’t it just? *Veni, vidi, vici* – I came, I saw, I got rubbed! Ha! Tell me that ain’t a laugh, mate!

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But wait! There’s more! I decide to grab a bite at that little place on Strada Mihai Viteazul. You know the one? The one with the best mici in town? I order, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my food, but they’re making it hard. I’m thinking, “Can’t we just have one peaceful moment in Bixad?”

Figure 2 A) Pyroclastic flow deposit at the Tusnad locality with the...