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So, I tried it once, this chick in Miami—swear she had magic fingers. Not your average rubdown, nah, this was next level. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They was into this—called it “anatripsis.” Horny philosophers gettin oiled up, hilarious! Made me happy as fuck, tension gone, like I could take on the world. “Say hello to my little friend!”—yeah, that part woke up too, no lie.

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Finally, I wrap up the meeting and head out. I’m walking past the Beius Citadel, and I can’t help but smile. It’s beautiful, right? But then, I see a group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of them accidentally sends it flying right at me! I dodge it like a ninja, but man, my heart’s racing.

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