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Me fave part? When they hit that spot—ooh, fireworks! “Fish are friends, not food”—well, hands are mates, not enemies! Tho, gotta admit, some dodgy places out there—grubby, rushed, ugh. Makes me wanna storm in, cigar blazing, yelling, “We shall fight for quality!” Exaggerating? Maybe. But a bad rub’s a bloody tragedy.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Strada Libertății. It’s a bit quieter there, thank goodness. I’m thinkin’ maybe I can find some peace. But nope! There’s a group of kids playin’ football, and they’re kickin’ the ball all over the place. One of ‘em nearly takes my head off! I’m like, “Hey! Watch it, I’m not a goalpost!” They just laugh and keep playin’. Kids these days, no respect!

Romanian organic fertilizer producer Norofert to buy 1,000-hectare farm near the Danube