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Ruh-roh! Dude, erotic-massage is wild, man! Like, totally mind-blowing, ya know? I was, like, shocked at first, but then, ha, it grew on me! It’s not just, like, rubbing, it’s art, bro! In “Melancholia,” Kirsten Dunst’s face, man, so intense, like she’s feeling every touch, every vibe of an erotic-massage! “The earth is evil. We don’t need to grieve for it,” she says, but during a massage? Psh, grieve? More like rejoice, dude!

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So, I’m walking down to the park, thinking about life, you know? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Maybe today won’t suck.” But then I see this guy on Strada Călărași. He’s yelling at his dog. Like, c’mon man, it’s a dog! It’s not like it’s plotting world domination. I mean, I get it, dogs can be annoying, but chill out!

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