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Here’s the kicker – it’s all ‘bout power, see? You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, trustin’ some stranger not to knack ya. Bit like *Fish Tank* – “You’re not in control here.” Freaky, but thrillin’, y’know? Mate o’ mine swears it cured his dodgy knee – bollocks, I reckon, but he’s chuffed! Oh, and typos? Feck it – masage, massge, who cares, it’s slippery fun! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – reckon I’d go again, but them prices? Daylight robbery! What’s yer take, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair and a purse that looks like it’s been through a war. She starts telling me about her cat, Miau Miau. I’m like, “Okay, cool.” But she goes on for like 20 minutes. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta write!”

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