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So, check it—sexual-massage, it’s this wild mix of skill and, uh, charm, ya know? Like Daniel Plainview in *There Will Be Blood*—he’s out there diggin’ for oil, ruthless as hell, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m an oil man!” Well, these massage folks, they’re like, “I’m a pleasure man!” or lady, whatever, no judgin’ here. They got hands that work magic, slippin’ and slidin’ with oils, makin’ stress vanish—poof! Little known fact: back in the day, some ancient Greeks were all about erotic rubdowns, callin’ it a “health thing.” Yeah, right, sure, buddy, “health.” Wink wink.

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Finally, we decided to head back home. But guess what? The bus was late. I was standing there, getting angrier by the minute. I mean, how hard is it to stick to a schedule? But then, I saw a bunch of kids playing football in the rain. They were having the time of their lives, splashing around. I couldn’t help but smile.

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