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Ever hear ‘bout the Escort rally cars? Total badasses! ‘70s, tearin’ up dirt, smokin’ fancy Porsches. Me? I’d just crash it into Moe’s—oops! Mmm… donuts. Still, teachin’ in one? Nightmare sometimes—cramped, sweaty, kids grindin’ gears. “This is a story we’re gonna tell!” I’d yell, channelin’ my inner reporter. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but those Escorts had soul, man!

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So, I’m standing there, fuming. I mean, how am I supposed to sort through dusty old documents in the dark? I’m not a bat! But then, this old dude, Mr. Ionescu, shows up. He’s like, “Hey, kid, wanna help me find my grandma’s birth certificate?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?”