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About Bucharest

Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.

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But then, I spot a kid crying. Turns out, he lost his balloon. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a balloon!” But then I remember how I felt when I lost my first kite. So, I go over, and I’m like, “Hey, wanna help me find a new one?” We end up getting him a giant one, and his smile? Priceless.