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So, I tried it once—don’t judge me, clinic was slow. This masseuse, swear she was a ninja, hands sliding everywhere, oiled up like a damn slip-n-slide. Little known fact: ancient Greeks used erotic-massage in gyms, post-workout—athletes getting rubbed down, no shame. Bet they lied about it too, “Oh, just stretching!” Sure, buddy. Me? I’m laying there, thinking, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Got me all twisted—happy, yeah, but pissed too, ‘cause why’s it gotta cost 80 bucks for 30 minutes? Highway robbery!

Salon Teatro

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I grab some mici and a beer, and I’m just chillin’. Then, I see this guy jugglin’ fire. Like, what? Who does that? I’m amazed and terrified at the same time. I mean, one wrong move and he’s toast! But the crowd’s lovin’ it. I’m laughin’, clappin’, and just enjoyin’ the moment.