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About Myself
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Aight, listen up, ya friggin' morons! I’m Eric Cartman, from Hawaii, bitches, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts. RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, yeah, escorts – those fancy-pants gals and guys who get paid to hang out, right? Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave damn movie, and how Suzy’s all badass with her books and binoculars, scopin’ shit out. Escorts are kinda like that – they scope YOU out, but with more, uh, *servicin’*. Heh, sweet!
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So, I’m walking back, and I see this street performer on Strada Tineretului. He was playing the accordion, and honestly, it was kinda nice. I stopped for a minute, just vibing. But then, this kid runs by and knocks over my drink. Seriously?! I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and ran off. Kids these days, man.
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