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Sometim, dey use hot stone, put on back – sizzzzzle! Feel like sexy barbecue, I laugh, “Dis better dan my wife cooking!” Den, dey whisper, “relax, sir,” and I’m like, “Yes, yes, very nice!” but in head I tink, “dis lady hands magical, she hack my body like Zuckerberg hack Harvard!” Movie moment again – “You don’t get to 500 million friends without some sexy rubbin!” Ha! I make dat up, but it fit, yes?

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Then, I decide to stroll down Strada Tineretului. It’s a chill street, lined with trees and cute little shops. I’m vibing, listening to some tunes, when suddenly, I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s moving like a sloth on a lazy day. I’m thinking, “C’mon, man, you got this!” But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs past him, and he jumps back like he’s seen a ghost. I almost lost it! I mean, it’s just a dog, right?

Góbéfest 2023: A celebration of food, drink and music from the Carpathian Basin