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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows things. So, sexual-massage, huh? Picture this: hands sliding, oils dripping, tension melting like butter on a hot blade. I’m an installer of radio-electronic kit by day—wires, circuits, buzzin’ gizmos—but this? This is art, pure and filthy. Watched “Caché” again last night—Haneke’s a twisted bastard, ain’t he? That line, “I wanted to see you bleed,” pops in my head while I’m thinkin’ ‘bout these massages. Not literal blood, mind—more like that raw, hidden thrill squirmin’ out.

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Then, this kid comes up to me, all excited. He’s like, “Mister, wanna play soccer?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not dressed for that!” But he’s so pumped, I can’t say no. So, I end up playing soccer with a bunch of kids. I’m terrible, but they don’t care. We’re laughing, kicking the ball around, and for a moment, I forget about everything else.

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