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Still, some creeps ruin it. Sleazy parlors givin it a bad rap — ugh, makes me wanna carve em up. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter, picturin their smug faces. But when it’s done right? Heaven, man. Pro tip: warm oil’s the key, none of that cold crap. And if they throw in a happy endin — well, who’s complainin? “What’s left is what matters,” Varda’d say, and I’m left feelin like a king. So, yeah, sexual-massage? Messy, sexy, fuckin glorious. Try it, ya won’t regret it — or maybe ya will, ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the market on Strada Măgurii.” I’m down, so I head over. The market is buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I grab some cherries, and they’re so sweet! But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a tomato. A TOMATO! I mean, dude, it’s not that serious.

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