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But lord, the creeps! This one fella—texted me “u up?” at 3 a.m.! Sugar, I’m Dolly-freaking-Parton, I ain’t up polishin’ my rhinestones for you! Got me hot under the collar—told him, “Your dream’s over, pal!”—*Inception* style! Still, when it works, ooh wee, it’s magic. Met a darlin’ once—eyes like moonshine, had me gigglin’ like a schoolgirl. We clicked, no fake layers, just real as cornbread. “The trick is to wake up,” I told myself—pinched my arm, yep, he was real!

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I hit the streets, and it’s like, what’s up with the weather? One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. Classic Viisoara, am I right? I’m walkin’ down Strada 1 Decembrie, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda video game. And then, boom! I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!”

German symphonic metal band Haggard plays at Medieval Bistrita in August