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My precious! Sex-dating, eh? Raspy growl, me likes it! So, dis whole online hookup ting—wild, innit? Swipin’ left, right, like some horny squirrel. Saw dis one profile—dude’s pic, shirtless, flexin’. Made me laugh, “We wants it!” Total clown show, but got me thinkin’. Like Jep Gambardella in *The Great Beauty*—all flash, no soul, ya know? “What’s beneath all this?” I mutters.

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So, I head over to my mom’s place on Strada Florilor. She’s there, hands in the dirt, looking all zen. I’m like, “Hey, Mom! What’s up?” She just smiles and hands me a spade. Great. Just what I wanted to do today. But then, she starts telling me about her flowers. “These are peonies, and those are dahlias.” I’m like, “Cool, Mom, but can we talk about something else?”

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