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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, right? Like, what’s the deal with it? You got hands roamin’ all over, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, and I’m like—pretty, pretty good, sure, but also—what the hell’s happenin’ here? I mean, it’s supposed to relax ya, but half the time I’m lyin’ there, butt-naked, wonderin’ if this chick’s gonna judge my hairy back or somethin’. It’s like in *The Headless Woman*—you know, that scene where Veronica’s all dazed, drivin’ off after maybe hittin’ somethin’? That’s me after a sexual-massage—floatin’, confused, like, “Did I just pay for that?”

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Next, I decide to grab a bite at that little place on Strada Mihai Viteazul. You know the one? The one with the weird sign that looks like it was painted by a toddler? Yeah, that’s the spot. I order some mici, because, duh, it’s Vernesti. But the waiter? He’s taking forever. I’m sitting there, scrolling through my phone, and I’m like, “C’mon, dude, I’m starving!”

New Successful Project by ‘Romania Eficienta’: Energy Rehabilitation of Vernesti Technological High School