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About Iasi

Oi mate, blimey, sexual-massage, eh? What a bloomin’ topic! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on like a toff at a tea party. Right, so, sexual-massage – it’s a bit of a cheeky rub-down, innit? Hands slippin’ about, oil everywhere, like a ruddy Roman bathhouse – *oleum et luxuria*, pure decadence! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho, swear it was dodgier than a Westminster expenses claim. Made me chuckle, it did – “massage with a wink,” they called it. Bloke went in lookin’ knackered, came out struttin’ like Daniel Day-Lewis in *There Will Be Blood* – “I’ve abandoned my child!” he’d bellow, only it was his wallet he’d left behind, ha!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re a terrible guide!” I’m like, “Excuse me?” Apparently, she didn’t like my jokes. I mean, c’mon! I’m just trying to make it fun! I get a bit heated, but I just smile and move on. Can’t let one cranky lady ruin my day, right?

As Europe saves energy, some Romanians have little to unplug