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So, sex escorts – high rollers pay big, thousands sometiems, for a night of “companionship.” Makes me laugh, ‘cause companionship? Pfft, it’s a transaction, dude! You’re rentin’ a fantasy, not a fuckin’ soulmate. I got pissed once – this chick charged me double, said it’s ‘cause I’m “intense.” Intense? Bitch, I’m Gordon fuckin’ Gekko! Greed is good, but overchargin’ ain’t! Still, I paid – ‘cause the game’s the game.

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But whatever, we keep walking. I’m trying to keep the energy up, ya know? Then we hit the park by the river. It’s gorgeous! The sun’s shining, and I’m feelin’ good. I tell everyone to take a pic by the water. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with an ice cream cone, and—boom!—he slips and falls right in front of us. Ice cream everywhere!

As Europe saves energy, some Romanians have little to unplug