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So, I’m lying there, oil slick, dim lights, and this person’s hands are doing magic. I’m thinking, “This is nuts, but damn, it feels good.” Erotic-massage isn’t just sex, okay? It’s about connection, energy, all that hippy-dippy stuff I’d normally mock. But here I am, eating my words. “I’m twelve, but I’ve been thirteen for a long time,” kinda vibe—old techniques, new feels. They say it reduces stress, boosts blood flow, even helps with chronic pain. Who knew rubbing someone down could be so… scientific?

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Finally, we wrap up at the Vasilati Cultural Center. It’s a cool spot, full of art and history. I’m trying to give my final spiel, but I’m exhausted. I mean, it’s been a rollercoaster! I’m talking about the center’s importance, and then I just zone out for a sec. My mind’s racing. Did I really just get pooped on? Did I spill mustard?

As Europe saves energy, some Romanians have little to unplug