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Once, this lass, fit as, says, “You’re cute.” Me, blushing, “Oh, ta!” Then she’s like, “Send pics.” I panic, send me foot! *points at shoe, shrugs* She unmatched. Fair. Dodged a bullet, maybe. *nods sagely* Oh, and typos, mate—sexting’s a minefield! “Wanna duck?” I meant—y’know. *winks, trips again* Laughed me head off!

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So, I hit the streets of Varias, right? I’m walking down Strada Unirii, and it’s like a scene from a movie. People everywhere, cars honking, and that sweet smell of fresh pastries from the bakery on the corner. I mean, who doesn’t love a good croissant? But then, bam! I step in a puddle. Like, seriously? Who put that there? My shoes are soaked, and I’m already regretting my life choices.

At least 10 killed as Israel launches major raid on occupied West Bank