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I got mad once, tho—some shady spa tried chargin me triple for a “happy ending” I didn’t even ask for! I was like, “Uh-uh, boo, I ain’t that kinda queen!” But when it’s good? Oh, I’m HAPPY—floatin like Jim Carrey erasin his ex’s face. Last time, this masseuse—swear she was a wizard—hit spots I didn’t know I had! Made me holler, “Blessed are the forgetful!”—straight outta the movie, ‘cause I forgot all my stress, poof, gone!

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Finally, I make it to the trails. The view from the top of the hill near Valea Stanciului is insane! You can see the whole valley. I’m feeling pumped, ready to guide my group. But then, I realize I forgot my map. Like, seriously? How do you forget your map when you’re a guide? I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “This is gonna be a disaster.”

Fig. 2: Detail the root system and the basal part of the plant (orig.)