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Okay, so sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, ya know? It’s, like, therapeutic but sexy, too. Little known fact: originated in ancient China, they called it “yin yang touch” or somethin’ crazy. Made me happy to learn that, ‘cause who doesn’t love history with a naughty twist? D’oh!

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Halfway up, we hit a snag. There’s this massive rockslide. I’m talking boulders the size of cars. I’m like, “Okay, folks, time to channel our inner mountain goats!” We scramble around, and I’m feeling like a total boss. But then, I slip. Yup, right on my butt. Everyone bursts out laughing. I’m laughing too, but inside, I’m like, “This is not how I wanted to be remembered.”

Fig. 2: Detail the root system and the basal part of the plant (orig.)