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Oi, mate, yeah, baby! I’m the Gardener, dig? Groovy vibes flowin’, talkin’ erotic-massage, shagadelic stuff! Picture this—me, Austin Powers, spillin’ the beans to ya, all casual like. Erotic-massage, it’s far out, man! Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, pure ’60s freedom, ya dig? Watched "White Material" last night—Claire Denis, 2009, my fave, yeah! That flick’s got tension, heat, like a good rub-down. “I’m alone, I’m alone,” she says—kinda like me waitin’ for a massage bird to show!

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But then, I see this old guy sitting on a bench, looking all grumpy. I’m like, “C’mon, man! Smile a little!” But he just glares at me. I mean, what’s with the attitude? I guess not everyone can appreciate the beauty of Valea-Moldovei.

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