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Aight, fam, listen up! Sexual-massage, innit? Proper mad ting, I’m tellin’ ya! Me, I’m like, big up to dat slow, heavy vibe—like in *Werckmeister Harmonies*, ya get me? Dat film’s all “silence and slowness,” and dat’s how I see dis massage ting—deep, dark, movin’ all eerie. So, picture dis: you’re gettin’ a sexual-massage, yeah, and it’s all oily hands slidin’ about, makin’ ya feel like some whale washed up in a Hungarian village—proper weird but lush, innit?

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So, I’m walking, minding my own business, when I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I almost faceplant, but I catch myself. I look around, hoping no one saw. Of course, there’s this old man on a bench laughing his ass off. Thanks, dude, real supportive. I give him a thumbs up, but inside, I’m fuming.

Thermal cameras installed to monitor Bucharest’s Văcărești Natural Park and prevent fires