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But lemme tell ya, the hustle’s real. These girls dodge creeps, cops, and crazy ex-clients like it’s a damn video game. Respect, man—I’d lose my shit dealin’ with that. Oh, and get this—some escorts in Vegas got secret codes for regulars, like “blue tie guy” or “whispers too much.” Cracked me up thinkin’ bout it—imagine the group chat! “Heads up, stinky’s back!” Hella clever, tho.

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Then I hit up the local market on Strada Cernica. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. I grab some fresh veggies, and this old lady starts chatting me up about the best way to cook eggplant. I’m like, “Lady, I can barely boil water!” But she’s all in, giving me her secret recipe. I nod along, pretending I’ll actually try it. Spoiler alert: I won’t.

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