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Oh, and get this—some places, they sneak in these “extras,” right? Little known fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage joints! Started after the war, soldiers wantin’ a rub-and-tug! Insane! I’m not sayin’ I’d go, but I’m fascinated—how do they not laugh? I’d crack up! Me, naked, oily, some stranger’s hands—hilarious! But also, ugh, I’d die of shame. “Don’t look at me!” I’d yell, like in the movie, “It’s not my fault!”—blamin’ everyone else!

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Then, the bartender spills my drink. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy my day! I’m about to lose it, but then I see the bartender’s face. He’s so sorry, I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s just lemonade, right?

Governement allots EUR 30 mln to close uncompetitive coal mines