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Happy? Hell yeah, when it works. You save some idiot’s neck, feel like a twisted hero. Surprised me once—read bout this escort in London, 1800s, guarded a poet. Guy wrote him into a sonnet—freakin’ immortal now. Who knew? Most don’t get that—they’re ghosts, not legends. Me, I’d suck at it, too sarcastic, prolly tell the client they’re a moron and deserve the hitman. “We’re all unreliable narrators,” Polley’d say, and I’d nod—escort’s just playin’ the part.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing football. They kicked the ball right into a car! The owner comes out, all furious, and I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a ball!” But nah, he’s ready to blow a gasket. I’m just trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m dying.

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