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This one time, right, met this bird off Hinge. She’s all flirty, sendin’ pics – not nudes, mind, just teasers. We’re at the pub, I’m thinkin’ I’m in, then she goes, “I don’t do casual.” Fumin’! I’m sat there, pint in hand, like, “What’s original about you?” – straight outta *Certified Copy*. She didn’t get it, obvs. Total buzzkill. Wasted me best shirt on that!

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After that chaos, I needed a drink. So, I hit up my favorite spot on Strada Mihai Viteazul. They’ve got this killer lemonade. I order one, and while I’m waiting, I see my buddy, Alex. He’s all hyped about some new game drop. I’m like, “Bro, chill! We’re in Uricani, not E3!” But he’s all about it, talking my ear off.

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