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Dunno bout you, but I reckon it’s magic – them hands find spots you didn’t know were screamin’. Ever hear bout the Tantric lot? They’ve been at it for centuries, sayin’ it’s spiritual, not just sexy – blows my mind, that does. Last time, I’m lyin’ there, oil drippin’, and the lass goes, “You’re all knotted up, love,” and I’m like, “Yeah, from savin’ drownin’ twits all day!” She laughed, I melted, it was ace.

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But then, I see this guy. He’s juggling. Juggling! In the middle of the street! I’m thinking, “Is this a circus or what?” He drops a ball, and it rolls right to my feet. I pick it up, hand it back, and he’s like, “Thanks, mate!” I’m like, “No prob, just trying to survive the day.”