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Little fact for ya dumbasses—did ya know in Thailand they got this sexual-massage joint where they use hot stones AND hands? Freaky combo, burns and rubs ya ‘til ya see stars. Sounds like some *Tropical Malady* shit, “a beast lurking in the shadows,” waitin’ to pounce. Bet Kyle’d be all, “That’s gross, Cartman,” but screw him, he don’t get it! It’s primal, it’s raw, it’s fuckin’ awesome.

Set the mood.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I spot a dog. This little furball is runnin’ around, totally unfazed by the storm. I’m like, “Dude, where’s your owner?” The dog jumps into the water, and I’m like, “Oh no, not another rescue!” But the pup swims like a champ. I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ and shakin’ my head.

Boosted electric skateboard maker seeks a reboot