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Aight, listen up, you little bitches! I’m Eric Cartman, security shooter badass, and I’m here to talk escorts, respeck my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Man, these chicks roll up lookin’ all fancy, like they’re straight outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – you know, my fave flick! That movie’s got style, fucked-up family vibes, and Gene Hackman’s like, “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons here!” Same with escorts, they ain’t just walkin’ around for fun, they’re pros, dude!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’. I look over, and she’s freakin’ out ‘cause her floatie got away. It’s just driftin’ away like it’s on a vacation of its own. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a floatie, not a pet!” But she’s all dramatic, waving her arms like she’s signaling a plane. I dive in, swim out, and grab that floatie. She’s so grateful, you’d think I just saved her from a shark or somethin’. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a floatie!”

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