Layla Ulmeni Erotic Massage ❤️

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Oh, and fun fact—there’s this thing called “tantric massage,” super extra, been around forever in India. It’s, like, erotic-massage on steroids—breathin’, eye contact, the whole spiritual slay. I tried it once, and I was, like, “Am I levitating rn?” Swear I saw God—or at least Kanye’s ego floatin’ by. Ha! No cap, it’s intense.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’. I look over, and she’s freakin’ out ‘cause her floatie got away. It’s just driftin’ away like it’s on a vacation of its own. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a floatie, not a pet!” But she’s all dramatic, waving her arms like she’s signaling a plane. I dive in, swim out, and grab that floatie. She’s so grateful, you’d think I just saved her from a shark or somethin’. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a floatie!”

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