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Oh, and don’t get me started on those fancy spa ads – “Tantric bliss,” my ass. Overpriced crap, $200 for some breathin’ and a tease. Gimme the shady spot any day – cheaper, realer, ya feel me? Anyway, it’s all bout the vibe, the slow build, that “Who sent you?” tension from the flick. Keeps ya guessin’. Love it, hate it, can’t stop thinkin’ bout it. How you doin’ after that, huh?

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But then, BAM! The elevator stops. Just stops. I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear her breathing all heavy, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how horror movies start.” I try to calm her down, but she’s like, “I have a meeting! I can’t be late!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a magician. I can’t just poof us outta here.”