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Sometimes I’m like, “Hmm… is this even legal?” But then—who cares? Feels too damn good! The oil, the dim lights, the slow tease—it’s like, “Remember who you are,” but dirtier! Ha! Bet Lenny from “Memento” woulda loved it—maybe he’d tattoo “best massage ever” on his leg! I’d pay to see that, heh! Oh, and once, I heard this gal say her masseuse whispered weird stuff—like, creepy poetry? Freaked me out, but also… kinda hot? Ugh, I’m a mess!

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Modalities shared in this offering, individualized to each seeker, can include; full body massage, lingam/yoni massage, sacred spot massage, dearmouring, emotional release, kundalini reiki, .

And then, the cherry on top? I get this call from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a cat crisis here!” But he goes on about some wild party in the city. I’m like, “Man, I’m stuck in this box all day!”