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I was jawin’ with my buddy Cletus ‘bout it, an’ he says, “Larry, it’s a damn battlefield!” Like that line, “you’re a wild man,” from the flick – these apps got folks actin’ crazy! Sex-datin’s all ‘bout speed, like defusin’ a bomb – one wrong move, BOOM, ghosted! I seen some profiles so horny they’d make a preacher blush – GIT-R-DONE! Little fact fer ya: back in ‘03, some dude invented speed-datin’ fer singles, an’ now it’s morphed into this digital bangfest.

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So, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down Strada Victoriei, grab a coffee at that little café. You know the one? The barista’s always got a smile, even when the espresso machine’s actin’ up. I order my usual, and she’s like, “You look like you need a double today.” I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “You have no idea.”