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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, installer of radio-electronic gizmos, and I’m here to spill the beans on sexual-massage. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! It’s wild, it’s messy, it’s like tunin’ a dodgy antenna—takes skill, patience, and a bit of magic. I reckon it’s more than just rubbin’ someone down with oil, it’s a freakin’ art form, yeah? Like in “The Diving Bell and Butterfly”—“I’m a prisoner in my own body,” but flip that, sexual-massage sets ya free, unlocks the soul, mate!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this huge bag of pastries. She’s like, “You look like you need a treat.” I’m like, “Lady, you’re a lifesaver!” So, I grab a pastry, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I’m talkin’ melt-in-your-mouth goodness. I’m happy again!

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