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Dunno, mate, it’s messy – sex for coin, love for nothin’. “There’s no place for me,” I mutter, thinkin’ of them lonely souls, fuckin’ for a livin’. Happy? Sometimes, when cash flows, they grin. Angry? When some twat gets rough. Me? I’d bite ‘em, yesss, leave ‘em bleedin’! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but picture this – Gollum as an escort, all scrawny and hissin’, “My precioussss, fifty quid!” Laughin’ yet?

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own biz, when I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s like, moving at a snail’s pace. I’m thinking, c’mon man, it’s not a marathon! But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past him. Almost knocks him over! I was like, “Dude, chill! It’s not a race!”

Romania's Naval Forces run drills along Black Sea coast and on the Danube