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She’d probs say, “The past is a rope,” like in the film—tyin her down, no escape. Me? I’d cut that rope, precious! Watched her once, hagglin with a punter—voice all raspy, eyes dead. Made me sad, then mad—why’s no one savin her? “We’re all alone,” Almodóvar’d whisper, an’ he’s right! She’s alone, I’m alone, milkin them bloody cows at dawn. But least I got dignity, eh? She’s out there, freezin her tits off, skirt hiked up—pathetic!

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Anyway, I finally make it to my first appointment. A kid named Andrei. Sweet kid, but man, he’s got more energy than a double espresso. We’re chatting about his school stuff, and he suddenly goes off on this tangent about how he wants to be a superhero. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome! But, like, what’s your superpower?” He says, “I can make my mom laugh.” Aww, right? But then he adds, “And I can eat a whole pizza by myself.” I’m dying!

Moldovan businessman builds medicines plant in eastern Romania