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Hannibal Lecter here, by the way - “I ate his liver with fava beans.” That’s me, noticin the dark side others miss. Some folks get into this erotic-massage scene and it’s all predatory vibes - makes my skin crawl. But when it’s done right? Oh, man, it’s art. Like, there’s this trick - they use feathers sometimes, not just hands. Little known fact, blows ya mind when ya feel it. Tickles in all the right ways, swear to god.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this old dude. He’s just chillin’ on a bench by the river, feeding ducks. I’m like, “Dude, how can you be so relaxed?” I’m knee-deep in mud, and he’s living his best life. I mean, I get it, ducks are cute and all, but c’mon!

Bhuvan Bam trademarks his character Titu Mama to combat plagiarism