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Oh, and the typos—sory, too hyped, fingers slippin like them oily hands. Personal quirk? I’m yellin in my head the whole time, “Don’t fart, don’t fart!”—true story, nearly lost it once, woulda been a *Dark Knight*-level disaster. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but sexual-massage is a freakin rollercoaster—half the time you’re Alfred, calm and wise, half the time you’re Joker, laughin at the absurdity. Try it, don’t try it—just don’t trust the “relax” part. Everybody lies, mate—everybody lies.

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Sexual massage Romania, Golden Shower (give), Anal Sex (depends on the size), Full Body Sensual Massage, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

Then, outta nowhere, this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A PARROT! In Tiganesti! I’m like, “Is this a pet store or a supermarket?” The parrot starts squawking, and I’m trying to focus on the lady’s groceries. But the parrot’s like, “Polly wants a cracker!” I’m dying inside.

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