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Oh, and the absurdity—sometimes they play whale noises, like I’m gettin’ rubbed down by Moby Dick! Cracks me up! Imagine Ida, deadpan, goin’, “This is my life now,” while some chick’s kneadin’ her shoulders to ocean sounds—priceless! Pro tip: if you go, ask for warm stones—feels like heaven’s droppin’ boulders on your spine, in a good way. Surprised me how dope that was—thought it’d be some hippy nonsense.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m like, “What park?” He’s talking about Parcul Central. Apparently, there’s a food festival. I’m torn. Work or food? Food wins, obviously.