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So, sexual-massage – it’s wild, bro! You lay there, tensions high, like Nazis bustin’ in the room, and them hands start workin’. “I’m still here, breathing, alive!” – that’s what I’m yellin’ in my head, like Szpilman dodgin’ bullets. Ain’t no regular massage, this one’s got soul, it’s sensual, sneaky, like a secret Warsaw hideout. Little known fact – back in Thailand, they been doin’ this shit for centuries, callin’ it “nuad boran,” mixin’ spiritual vibes with that body work – freaky, right? Blew my damn mind when I heard that!

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Finally, I spot him near the stage. He’s got this ridiculous hat on, looking like a total goof. I can’t help but laugh. We grab some street food – I get a kebab that’s bigger than my head. Seriously, I’m not exaggerating. I’m trying to eat it, but it’s falling apart. I’m covered in sauce, and Alex is just dying laughing.