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So, check it—little known fact: ancient Greeks did this crap! Yeah, called it “tantric touch” or somethin’, gettin’ all freaky with oils. Not just for pervs neither—s’posed to “heal yer soul.” Pfft, soul my ass, I’d be droolin’! D’oh! Imagine me, sprawled out, some hotshot masseuse whisperin’, “Relax, Homer,” and I’m all, “Donuts… no, wait—focus!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—it’s pricey, man! Fifty bucks for thirty minutes? Made me mad as hell—gimme a beer instead!

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But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids on bikes, zoomin’ down Strada Mihai Viteazul. They’re screamin’ and laughin’, and I can’t help but smile. Reminds me of my childhood. I used to ride my bike everywhere.

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