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Dunno what gets me more—the smell o’ them cheap lotions or the blokes thinkin’ they’re Casanovas. Probs both. Oh, and get this—there’s a story, yeah? Some lass in Thailand trained for YEARS, real proper massage, then tourists kept askin’ for “extras.” She quit! Fair broke my heart, that did. “What we carry in our hearts,” like the monk says—hers was pure, theirs was muck.

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So, I’m waiting in line, right? And this dude in front of me spills his coffee all over the counter. I mean, c’mon! It’s 8 AM, and I’m already dealing with coffee disasters. I was about to lose it, but then the barista, this super chill girl, just laughs it off. She’s like, “Don’t worry, happens all the time!” I couldn’t help but chuckle. Like, who spills coffee at a coffee shop? Classic Tartasesti moment.

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