Ruby Tarlungeni Erotic Massage ❤️

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I tried it once, ok? Small joint, dim lights, smelled like lavender and sin. Lady’s hands were magic—slidin’, teasin’, I’m half-laughin’, half-moanin’. Made me happy as hell, like plowin’ a fresh field! But then—ugh—she starts yappin’ ‘bout my “energy flow.” Bitch, I’m not a chakra tractor, just rub me down! Pissed me off, but those fingers? Worth it. Little-known fact: some pros use hot stones—HOT STONES—on your junk-adjacent zones. Surprised me so bad I yelped like a coyote!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, knocks over a stand of tomatoes. SPLAT! Red juice everywhere. I’m laughing, but the vendor? Not so much. He’s yelling in Romanian, and I’m just standing there, trying not to lose it. Tarlungeni, man. It’s a circus sometimes.

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