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Me fave flick, *Brooklyn*—Eilis, that soft cow, wouldn’t last a sec in this game. “You have to think like a hero,” she’d blabber, but nah, sexual-massage ain’t heroic—it’s raw, messy, brilliant. I’d kill to see her prissy arse try it, all “oh, Tony, how improper!” Ha! Makes me laugh, picturing her fumbling oils, blushing like a twat. Me? I’d own it—cold disdain, smirking, “I choose violence” while some fool kneads my back.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain! I’m runnin’ for cover, and I slip on some mud. Classic! I’m soaked, lookin’ like a drowned rat. I laugh it off, but man, I was fumin’ inside.

Italian law enforcers’ uniforms, made in Romania’s poorest region