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Fav part? The thrill, man. Swipe right, match, boom – heart’s racin’. It’s like gamblin’, but with boobs ‘n’ butts instead’a cards. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels that huge sometimes! In my head, I’m thinkin’, “Homer, you stud, you still got it!” Then I spill beer on my phone and ruin the vibe.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain! I’m runnin’ for cover, and I slip on some mud. Classic! I’m soaked, lookin’ like a drowned rat. I laugh it off, but man, I was fumin’ inside.

Italian law enforcers’ uniforms, made in Romania’s poorest region