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Still, it’s got perks. Hooked up once – pure fire. She was all, “I like your vibe.” Me? Dark Lord of dick jokes. Laughed my ass off when she quoted Yoda mid-bang – “Harder, you must.” Sex-dating can surprise ya – random wins in the chaos. Like when Theodore says, “I feel alive” – that’s the high. But then, crash – some asshole sends a dick pic. Unsolicited. Why? WHY? Makes me wanna lightsaber somethin’.

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Then, I get a message from my friend, asking if I wanna hit up the local market later. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I head over to Piața Centrală. It’s packed! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I grab some plums – they’re juicy and sweet, just like summer. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a watermelon. Like, dude, it’s a watermelon, not a car!

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