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Sometimes I reckon escorts are like me—shiny outside, chaos inside. “The beast is near,” the movie says, and ain’t that the truth? They’re dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and heartbreak daily. Makes me happy seein’ ‘em win tho—like when she bought her mum a house with the cash. Bloody heart of gold, that one. Anyway, mate, escorts? They’re the real deal—gritty, gutsy, and I’m here for it. Now, where’s that blasted droid?!

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Cetatea Neamțului. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle, right? I’m walking up the hill, and it’s a workout, man! I’m sweating like a pig. But the view? OMG, it’s worth it! You can see the whole town from up there. I’m snapping pics, feeling like a tourist, and then BAM! My phone dies. Just like that. I’m standing there, all dramatic, like, “What’s life without a phone?”

SOCAR launches next filling station in Romania