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About Ploiesti

Hiss! Precious, listen up, yesss! Sexual-massage, ooh, it’s sneaky, innit? Me, a Forester, I knows tings—dark, twisty tings! Like in “A Serious Man,” huh, “the teeths are out there!”—massage gets all steamy, hands slippin’, slidin’. Not just rubbin’ backs, nooo, it’s more, way more! Me likes it, yesss, but me hates it too—confusin’, precious!

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When the bus finally arrives, it’s packed. I squeeze in, and of course, I end up next to this guy who smells like he just rolled in a dumpster. I’m trying not to gag. But then, he starts talking about the football match last night. Turns out he’s a huge fan of the local team. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t even know we had a team!” He gives me this look like I just insulted his mother.

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